As my wife and I danced our first dance at our wedding, we smiled at each other with a sense of accomplishment. We had gone to a dance instructor to choreograph it for us and had practiced for weeks. Even then, I still stepped on her dress, but we were able to laugh and keep going. 

 

Being able to make mistakes in relationship, stepping on the dress and all, seeing it for what it was and not letting it drive us apart, was not an easy journey. 

 

Though I grew up in a loving family, my parents struggled with communication and expressing their emotions. Avoidance and putting on a smile were their go-to strategies. Following their example, I also learned to repress my emotions (too). To others I was known for being happy, yet often I felt alone, unworthy and anxious. 

 

Like many people, having never been taught the steps to the dance, I wasn’t even confident to dance at all, I would avoid relationships all together because they were too scary.

 

Once I did start having relationships, they were fraught with stepping on toes and feeling out of rhythm. I found myself, over and over, feeling how it wasn’t working but not being able to say so. 

 

Inevitably, like having an awkward dance, the two of us would part ways, leaving me with the question, “What am I missing?” 

 

Eventually, I started talking about what was happening with family and friends. I learned about therapy and gave it a try, sharing my personal story with a total stranger. Some were helpful and some were not, but I kept going and eventually found that the process of opening up was more fruitful than trying to figure it out on my own. 

 

The conversation helped me develop my own unique style of dancing. Eventually, I found my balance, found my moves and was able to stay on the dance floor — of love :) Today I help others navigate their own journeys of finding and keeping love.